So a friend of mine and I were blowin treez and havin fun tonight. We bumped Dedication 3 from my IPOD into the car.... Then we went to Nauna's Pizzeria (on the Montclair map) and got some slices and went back to the whip and chylled. Shits mad cool until a car pulls up. A blue Honda Accord.
The driver got out first and it was a white dude, probably about 40 years old. He was weird because he was built like a bitch. He had a fat-ass and fat-titties but a real thin waste and a real thin face. He kinda looked like a discgousting Buffy the Body. Weird fuckin dude. So thats the driver. Out of the backseat climbs a bangin ass white lady, probably in her mid twenties. Shaped like a bottle, ass-spankin sexy. I'm not gunna lie, I know a little something about women's clothes and her shit wasn't cheap. She dropped a couple of pounds out her pocket for the shit she had on, youdiggme? So we have "Rich Bitch" in the back. Fatty helped Rich Bitch out of the backdoor (i wish someone would help me into her backdoor ((tah!)) which was on the passenger side, in the back...duh. umm so...
Thats when the bullshit happened. No lie, out pops a midget from the passenger seat....the front.. My friend thinks it was a little kid because we didnt get a clear shot of what the thing was. Since he got out last and the fatman helped the girl out the backseat on the midgets side, it was hard to see the little homie behind the Bitchman. I got a "Lockness Monster view" of that things forehead and it was definitely owned by a midget, yadigg? Midgets have a distinct forehead that kind of slopes in the front so it pokes out.lol. There ain't no forehead like a midget forehead and you know it. Awkward ass forehead looked like a sun visor. That was no little kid.
Now that I think about it though I dont really know how old the migit was. I get real confused with midgits and how old they are. Anyway like I was saying. I've never seen a young midget. I have never seen an old midget. They are all middle aged angry looking mugs. I guess when their young they're elves and when they get old they morph into Dwarfs. Maybe I'm being ignorant, it wont be the first time, but they all look the same age to me. I dont give a fuck, I'm being honest. Mugs can't even get offended though. What is this? Size-ism. You can't get mad at me for that. Making fun of midgets isn't discriminating, its bullying. Anyway. So the midget was riding shotty....never mind....thats way too easy....
So I watched them go into Nauna's and I said to myself, "where the fuck did they meet?" A bangin bitch (excuse my prejudice), a midget (excuse my political incorrectness), and a fatass (excuse his fart). Who the hell threw a party that had these 3 niggas on the same guestlist? The dudes sucked so bad. Ones real fat and ones real short, neither of them can ride rollar coasters...didnt meet at a theme park.
Maybe they work together? I dont think so. The girl in the backseat had a lot of money, remember? She went to college and got her degree with that money. Now she's independently wealthy. And If she didnt do that then daddy hooked her up with the rich white girl deal. As long as you AT LEAST PRETEND your not sucking every dick in your grade, your not a lesbian, goth or emo, and you call me daddy, I'll let you live in my sick-ass crib till I die...you'll get a bangin ass sweet 16....and prolly a car that ain't even come out in most states yet. Then when I die.... you can have all my shit. Thats the code that rich white men have with their rich white daughters.
^
!!
try and tell me MTV has no educational value.
Anyway, Lets say they met while jogging...Fatty Don't Jog
Met at the Movies?....She doesnt watch star wars, they dont watch mean girls.
Maybe they met at the supermarket?.....Fatty is in isle 8 having wet daydreams about Lay's potato chips, Madonna only eats organic shit in Isle 12, and the midget is too busy steering his little hovercraft or whatever little wheelchairs they give handicaps at Shopright. So that wasn't their meeting place either.
So where did these niggas meet? I don't know. I turned to my homie and explained my thoughts to him. Here's what he came up with.
Shes a porno star
He's a midget (midget porn)
Fatty's got the camera and a passion.
or maybe we were just wavy
-M. Bueller
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some genius homie
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